so i can't make up my fucking mind? so what?!

it turns out that even i have a breaking point. i didn't think i did. not with kayla. but when she has done nothing for me but pick me up just to throw me right back under the next passing bus..i can't handle it. i don't want to be someones backup plan. i don't want to be someones fallback. i want to be loved. i want someone who will treat me exactly how i deserve to be treated. i want someone who is sure and stable and ready to be happy and have something permanent without the drama and the bullshit. i sound like a fucking middle school child. but i should have listened to my gut from the get-go.